Zoe Zombie

I really have to get back into the habit of staying in touch with the news because it has turned into a horrible habit since I came back from thailand. I had absolutely no idea that there was a storm coming, yesterday.

I was sitting at the doctors surgery, next to THE most annoying brat in the history of waiting room assholes. I didn’t even get a clear look at him, but if he was my son I would have told him to STFU.

“Muuuummmm go up thereeeee and tell theeemmmm we’ve been waiting foreverrrrrrrr.”

“If they come out and like, don’t call our name, i’ll be like, GRRRRRR”

“How much longerrrrrrr, like, goddddddd”

And, he would get up and hop around right next to me, on the one foot that wasn’t bandaged up. I looked at the lady across from me, wondering if she was feeling my annoyance. She looked back and sighed.

My sentiments, exactly.

I got up, walked over to the chemist, helped and old man open the refrigerator door and then bought a bottle of water.

Roger messaged me to say “be careful if you are driving home after the storm hits”.

Storm.. there’s a storm?

So I looked outside, and it was pretty gray. No rain, a little wind.

I went back to the waiting area and sat down, away from spoilt child. That quietened him a little. I proceeded to play with my iphone and then I overheard that there was an average of a 40 minute wait. All of a sudden, that storm became my biggest fucking problem.

The thing is, I needed to get a blood test. The other thing is, i fucking HATE getting needles. I think it may have stemmed from when I was 6 years old – I had stepped on a piece of glass the size of a yo-yo and was taken to some dodgy doctor surgery. The nurse proceeded to basically STAB me with about 4 needles whilst I sat there and screamed and cried.

But not this time, I basically sat in the chair and told the nurse it was go-time. Take that blood, I need to get out of here.

Luckily, my vein gave up the goods straight away as I am one of those people with invisible veins and it usually takes a couple of goes to get anything. After this, I made my way to the car and saw the biggest fucking black cloud coming my way.

It was sort of like something out of a disaster movie, only a lot slower and without pierce brosnan.

I was 15 minutes from home when the hail started to fall. It scared the crap out of me and I thought I was going to die by being pelted by hail. There was no where to pull over and stop so I just kept driving.

I saw a poor girl huddling under a bus stop to avoid the hail. I felt badly for her and wished I could have helped in some way without causing an accident or injury but basically – nothing I could do. So i kept driving.

I finally made it home and the thought of finding refuge under the carport was quickly shattered when I saw that a nice thin layer of hail was building up. But of course, I was absolutely busting to go to the toilet. But I’ve also had ice thrown right in my face and it’s not exactly the best feeling in the world.

So it came down to – pee in the yard, somehow, or run in hail and water to get to the door. It could potentially mean if i was knocked out by hail I may pee my pants anyway.

Using my awesome fake Chanel as a shield, I bolted to the front door and suffered from butter fingers trying to open the door. Made it inside, the cats were crying and tried to follow me into the toilet.

Luckily, didn’t suffer too much damage, the laptops were charged which served for some great viewing of american dad. and we went two hours before we realised that we had a lantern in the house.