Zoe Zombie

it’s beginning to FEEL a lot like Christmas

// August 14th, 2009 // Comments Off // humour

My family used to go ALL out for Christmas. Ever since I was born, I would always look forward to lots of presents from them and the rest of my family. I was spoiled, yes. But before you think my family are a bunch of bible bashers – we’re not. We just buy into the American style Christmas – all about gifts, nothing about Jesus. Just the way we like it.

Knowing that I had a lot to look forward to on Christmas day, I used to get so excited that I basically couldn’t eat or sleep in the days leading up to the ceremonial gift giving. Or sometimes I would eat so much because the feeling in my stomach felt like hunger – but I couldn’t tell.

Anyone close to me will tell you that I have wanted an iPhone since they came out. I am not an Apple fangirl. I’m not one of those douchebags who are like, “Ooh Windows sucks! Apple is the best! LOLZZ!!”. No. Windows does suck. But so does Apple. ALL computers suck. But. BUT. I love the look, functionality and style of the iphone. Most of all, I loved that I could have my ipod and a phone in one. Perfect.

Every time I have went to get one, it’s almost as though it has been snatched away from me. Or maybe I have just bought too many clothes. Either way, I have just never been able to get my hands on one. On Tuesday I thought – fuck it – here I go, I’m gonna get one. And I did. And then I thought – I have to WAIT until Friday to get it. What an anti-climax.

I had this weird feeling of not being able to sleep, either not eating or eating too much, feeling as though there were a thousand butterflies in my stomach, all ready to burst out. And I stopped. What was this feeling I was experiencing? I hadn’t experienced it since… Christmas ..when I was a little girl. My god. It felt as though it was Christmas, sometime between 1989 to 1994. What. The Fuck.

See, I’m old now. And I just do not get that excited about anything anymore. Not even my own birthday. Not EVEN Slayer and Megadeth on the same bill (I know – shame!). I’m excited about an inanimate object that will serve me no real purpose, other than to make a phone call. How worrying.

Mid Morning Diabetes.

// July 27th, 2009 // Comments Off // opinion

Whilst food shoping over the weekend, I encountered some new packaging from Coca Cola for their soda cans. Whoopdie doo – they were smaller. Only an idiot would buy them because they think they are somehow new and awesome as well as not making them fat because it’s only 99 calories.

As I turned the corner into the health food isle (that’s right – coca cola right next to the health food isle) I noticed something quite insane on the box. “Mid morning snack”. I had to take a picture and run – it was just too funny.

I work in a place where people are cracking open their coke cans at 8:30am and the vending machine is empty by weeks end. So it seems like the whole idea of having a can of coke or fanta for a “mid morning snack” has been around forever. This is a scary thought, but no one really said anything about it. All the coke ads have people drinking it sometime in the afternoon on a beach with some grandma because they think that this will make their product look awesome. I was always brought up to think that soft drink was a ‘treat’ and that it’s ok to have it once a week but that was it. Seemed and still seems fair to me.

Then as I was driving home yesterday, I saw a billboard advertising the new Cadbury Chocolate size – 100 grams or something. Either way, it was a smaller version of the biggest blocks and the picture consisted of an opened packed of the smaller Cadbury block and underneath it said “Perfect for on the go.”. Who the FUCK eats an ENTIRE block of chocolate while their driving to work, or picking their kid up from school? I’ll tell you who. The same person who buys fucking 9 cans of fanta because they’re in a new size and are only 99 calories. Plus, the packet said they were good for a mid morning snack.

When did it become ok to factor “snack sized” junk food into every aspect of our lives? I understand that these companies have to make money, but they are also the ones who are enabling the dickheads who don’t think for themselves or have no brainzzzzzzz.

We are slowly, but surely on our way to equalling the USA food consumption. I’ve been to the land of USA and I have seen their “serving suggestions” and they are enough to feed a whole family. Here’s to Australia’s future – full of obesity and diabetes. Go team!

Posted via web from Jessicatron’s PREposterous thoughts

God damnit.

// April 5th, 2008 // Comments Off // opinion

Cryptic message for the day: Perfect that shit eating grin of yours, because it’s a lot better than coming to blows.

Well well well…

// March 28th, 2008 // Comments Off // opinion

So here I am. Starting from scratch. I’m not exactly sure what happened but for a while there my site completely disappeared. And then, so did the database holding three years+ of entries. I feel like I’ve lost something, but then again I know I have a back up of 18 months worth of entries on my facebook profile. In a way, it’s like a way to start something fresh and new. What is the point in holding on to the past? Nice memories are fantastic to hold on to, but there really is no point. But somehow I feel like I have spent years creating a painting only to see it washed down the drain.

I’m sure it will take a whole day to get over.