Posts Tagged ‘metal’

like a vampire who just had garlic shoved in his/her face

// January 21st, 2009 // Comments Off // humour

What the fuck is wrong with me today? And yesterday? And, if my memory goes back that far, the day before? It’s like all of a sudden, death metal is just pissing me off.

What an odd thing to realise. It even makes me feel just that tad bit dirty. Like a dirty traitor. Seriously, what the fuck? Yes, WHAT. THE. FUCK. Why today (and the day before and possibly the day before)? Maybe I’m just fucking sick of it at the moment. But then, that is a scary thing to realise – and here is why.

I realise that I’m probably going to offend a whole bunch of people but I don’t really care because, even though I try to believe, I am proved wrong every time. I don’t like anything but metal, and other than that – the good old pop, rap and hip hop stuff from the 80s, disco (don’t fucken ask me why), folk, rock, prog, psychadelic, funk etc from the 50s-80s.

Everything on the radio fucking sucks. This is why I have stopped listening to the radio all together (although I did listen to Indie 103 online when I had nothing else. Loved it. RIP Indie). All that dance/electronic/whatever sucks. New rock shit sucks. Rolling Stone sucks. Even fucking Metal Hammer sucks. Radio stations suck. Too many dance acts in Perth suck. Too many people who like dance music – it’s too easy! Come on, there has to be something more to you than that?!

I like Metal. It makes me think about things, it allows me live vicariously through stories etc that other shit can’t do. It’s awesome, it’s exilerating. It’s blunt, it opens my eyes. If I want to listen to shit where I don’t have to think, I will listen to shit like Ratt, or Motley Crue or Public Enemy… even the fucking Bee Gees! That shit was Boss. No matter how bad, it was still a good song – interesting, melodic, NOT trash.

Completely my opinion of course, but I hate the fact that people who like all this accessible music get the run of the yard. I’m fucking sick of seeing electronic music festivals. I think it’s retarded that these people impose their shit on everyone else and think metalheads like myself are just a lost cause. We’re your only fucking hope.

This is why I am scared that death metal is pissing me off today – and now I just made myself run right back into its morbid arms.

I think I am sick. Maybe.

// December 31st, 2008 // Comments Off // humour

I love old school Metallica, just like everyone else. I am pretty sure that old school Metallica and new shit Metallica are two different bands entirely. But I cannot help but say that I love Garage Inc (1998). Why? I have a fever!

Voula, Athens.

// August 4th, 2008 // Comments Off // travel

Currently in Athens, we just got here today from HAMBURG. We have been flying everywhere and the lack of sleep comes to  mind!!! :)

To start at the beginning:
We were in HONG KONG – it was a long and pleasant flight but we finally arrived. I just wanted to check everything out once we got outside – the heat was so overpowering – we jumped into a taxi without a second thought.

Everyone speaks English in HK so it was no problem getting around. Although our taxi driver didn’t seem to understand what hotel we wanted to go and dropped us off a street away!

We were able to find our hotel easily enough but for me – the heat was far too much to bare. It was so humid, I was sweating profusely & felt as though I might COLLAPSE.

We finally reached out Hotel and I was pleasantly surprised. It was nicely decorated. Although, these things do come second nature to me – I’m not one of those ‘walls were disgusting peach colour – never staying here again!’ pricks you see on TRIP ADVISOR!

Everything was so cheap. At first, I recall feeling a guilt because we had gone to a 7Eleven and bought three packets of chips, chewing gum, two beers and two smirnoff reds for HK$85 which is roughly AUD$11! Taxis were incredibly cheap. To THE PEAK which was a good half an hour from our hotel was $18 roughly. In Perth it would have cost an easy $35+.

The Peak is really so beautiful. During the day, the grandness of it all really leaves you in awe. And at night, it becomes incredibly romantic as lights from the building have the power to bring the day back into HK. It’s almost like being in VEGAS but not so in your face.

Roger and I bought new phones for most probably record cheap prices. Mine was roughly $700. Still don’t know how much exactly but it was still cheap. A totally impulse buy but who cares?! I had got money back from the ATO so I wanted to spend it after I felt a weight was lifted.

The shops in HK are awesome too. Ridiculously huge but of course, nothing to be found in them!

One thing that struck me was the sheer weirdness of walking. Here’s a story – Roger and I are at a shopping centre at The Peak.  There are at least 5 escalators to go up to the top. We step on them with ease. Roughly 75% of HKer’s begin a ritual of holding on to othe rail, hovering their uneasy foot over a moving step, isolating a single targeted step and attempt to put both feet on them to continue their journey. Untl next time.

It’s not just the walking but the LACK OF SPEED. People walk as thought they have until next year to get home. It can be frustrating – but also for locals. one woman was too busy pushing her way through a slow moving crowd that she failed to see a face-height sign and SMACKED her face right into it. CLASSIC!

But oh, I am not done. Roger and I were at yet another shopping mall when we stopped in the middle – unsure of where to go. Finally we begin walking again, only to have a woman cut in front of me so close that she tripped over my walking foot! As in, the next step I was taking so that I could walk as a normal person does! I was annoyed at first but gained a sadistic satisfaction when I saw her trip and her arms flailed in the air.

THINGS TO REMEMBER IN HK.
- in summer, bring SUMMER CLOTHES! my stupidity lead me to believe I would need ‘warmer’ summer clothes.
- HK is shit for clothes shopping.
- you can street drink (+++)
- HK is good for electronics
- never go to any mall that has no one inside. Chances are, it is shit.
- just ask for a fork. WHO CARES???
- ignore buddhist bitches
- wifi is everywhere
- there is no internet cafes in the city, are on the island.
- expect people to push in front of you.
- taxi it everywhere
- alcohol is cheap
- don’t use hotel internet.

From HK, we flew to London. A 13 hour flight and my ankles did not well. It was an incredibly irratating flight. A dumbass at the front who insisted on keeping his seat and the empty seat next to Him back the entire flight. Parents constantly walking around with their babies, thinking they are the best in the world and that everyone should look at them and coo. Little stupid kids who can’t pee in the actual toilet and pee on the floor instead. People who don’t know how to remove a paper toilet seat cover from the toilet after they go and leave it for me to carefully lift off and bin it. A dickhead behind me who did not know how to properly fold and secure his tray table and leap me out of my extremley light sleep anyway. Just a shiteous flight. But I did enjoy the awesome movies! I watched Batman Begins again. I really want to see the Dark Knight again!!

So we get to London and it seems easy enough to get around. However, it feels daunting to me and I am intimidated. We get to our cheap ass (not really. it was expensive but it was CHEAP! Get me?) hotel and my guts are churning – bad. I constantly felt like i needed to fart or shit. Uncomfortable. Roger had to go out to drop off our valuables to Helen ready for WACKEN. Whiles I was lying on my bed. In a weird, humid apricot room. I wished that my guts would stop churning.

When it was time to go to bed, we slept in thisthis tiny double bed. I barely moved all night.

We were getting up early to get to Hamburg. The flight was quicky and painless and we got to our hotel easily enough (after a random guy told us the wrong way to go!).  By this time I was already intimidated by the language.

We were unable to check into our room and so we wandered around a bit.  And things are for sale so we wandered around a bit. Things are so different there. I almost felt embarrassed for people who come to perth for a HOLIDAY?! For what?!!!

The next day was spent shopping for WACKEN. We ran around like mad dogs trying to get everything ready and trying to remember things from a list we never wrote down. We had to check out by 12 that day and bet at REMEDY RECORDS by 2pm for our shuttle bus to WACKEN which is why the running around was required.

(P.S – before I forget – shit was cheap in hamburg too).

Fast forward to 2pm on July 31st. We are sitting on a bus with 30 other people dressed in black, army pants, studded belts and black hair (mostly). Some people know them as freaks but we are NOT.

On the bus, there were 3 extremely annoying guys from the United States who continuously put a bad name to themselves by being extremely loud, obnoxious, chewing gum loudly and saying “like” every second word. I am glad I will never see them again.

I had felt guilty and sorry for Roger as he had to lug around a huge ass bag containing all our clothes and the blow up mattress wehich weighed a tonne because it was one of those really thick ones. When it was inflated, it came up to my knee.

I DO NOT KID.

We walked around for roughly 15 minutes to find a place to set up our tent which would be our home for the next two days.

Do you even understand me now? Because this is how incoherent I was for the next few days. I look back at Wacken now and all I seem to remember is some sort of awesome blur. I was in awe. I was at the biggest metal festival in the world. 80,000 other metal heads amd 3 days of awesome bands, camping, beer, german food and other cuisines, toilet vouchers and 3am piss runs. Sleeping in a fucking tent that was so restricted in room thanks to the blow up mattress but it was joy so WHO CARES!.

Wacken – I don’t think that I can really capture what it felt to be there. To this moment I am still in awe and shocked. The weather was way too hot on the first day and pissed down on the second.

We got a sweet spot to see UNEARTH and it pissed down with rain so bad that my underwear was soaked. REALLY.

For now I must leave as Roger is starting to feel lonely.

Kalinichta.

Search for answers

// June 13th, 2008 // 1 Comment » // humour

I find it amusing at how people arrive to my site. A lot of it is referrals, so seeing those referrals are incredibly interesting. Back in the day, I used to get people coming to my site wanting to know Anthony Kiedis’ phone number. This didn’t just happen once, but multiple times over a period of months. Then I got ‘Anthony Kiedis + home address’ which I thought was so fucking psycho that I removed any blogs about the Red Hot Chili Peppers on my old blog. Scary. But nowadays, the referrals are not as scary these days, but interesting all the same. People have come to my website by asking a question in their search engine and I’m afraid I was never able to give them the answers they wanted. But now, I give you the answers to the last few questions people have typed in their search engine and come to my site looking for these answers.

What is a good metal band for those who don’t like metal?

My friend, I am afraid that there is no way to get people into metal by giving them an album if they don’t like it in the first place. This is a tough tactic and rarely works. Liking metal is like being ready to love yourself or lose weight – you have to be ready to do it yourself, no one can make you. Sounds so sweet, doesn’t it?

However, I have been guilty of handing over “Damnation” by Opeth to my non metal friends so they can understand that metal isn’t just about screaming and power-chords.

My advice is to give them something easy listening and then slowly start to guide them away from the safety of the shallow end of their music tastes into the deep dark waters of metal. (Textual exaggeration can be fun).

Why are women so bitchy?

It’s because we are insecure. Women are the most insecure creatures on the planet. We’re vulnerable and we try to hide our vulnerability by stepping up to “the man” because maybe we can’t do it any other way. Honestly, I think because of insecurities such as thinking people have to love us and we have to be perfect, we start becoming jealous and crazy over people who are and don’t give two shits about other women. Yes, sometimes even our girlfriends, which sucks.

Why am i so bitchy?

I don’t know but you should stop it before someone bitch slaps you.

What happens to your brain when you listen to metal?

I don’t know. But it doesn’t make you a psycho. And it doesn’t make you want to kill small children. So then… it must be good!

What is an internal customer?

Anyone inside the business you work in who you are providing work for.

Why isn’t metal music on the radio?

Simply because metal does not appeal to the masses – “masses” are generally people who don’t want to think about anything too much. They don’t think that there is money in metal because people don’t buy it. It’s really a cycle. People don’t buy it because they don’t know what’s out there, and they don’t know what’s out there because they’re not being told. Plus, there are stations that do play metal but you’re better off looking in the world wide webiverse for that.

Sell-outs.

// April 27th, 2008 // 1 Comment » // music, opinion

I was recently reading the January 2008 issue of Terrorizer magazine. It was the first time in quite a while that I had read any metal media outside of the internet as i like to read all of my stories and news online. However, whilst reading a section on upcoming band news for 2008, they deemed Arch Enemy as “Ozzfest-bothering sell-outs” which pissed me off more than I would have liked.

Aside from the fact that I don’t think I’ve called anyone a sell-out since 1999 (because I kind of think the term died in the ass), at the end of the day we’re most probably all sell-outs. As one man famously put it, “I sold out before you ever knew my name.”

So selling out is swapping to a bigger label to put dinner on the table. Or playing at Ozzfest to spread the word of the band outside of your home country to earn a decent buck in an industry that is only soldiering on by the support of it’s fans. Sure, it fucking sucks when bands change their sound completely to be more commercial under advice of their newer shinier record label. But they were never truly metal in the first place and therefore, not worth worrying about.

To be honest, I think that magazines like Terrorizer have to lead by example. Sure, people are going to make their own decisions at the end of the day but it doesn’t mean that they have to join the minority of dickheads who slag off other bands just for trying to earn a living in the metal industry. Perhaps they describe certain bands as sell outs because they feel that it’s only just – and to appear in tune with their fellow metal heads. But I believe that calling fellow metallers sell-outs is NOT endorsing the attitude of being truly metal and therefore they should keep their juvenille “sell-out” thoughts to themselves.

You don’t like metal because.. you’re lazy?

// April 16th, 2008 // 1 Comment » // music, opinion

I don’t really have many interesting things to say at the moment other than the usual shit: I’m hungry. I’m tired. Burp Me. All that fun crap. Or.. really.. I just want to focus on the last entry.

Since my last post. I’ve had a lot of visitors and a lot of comments. A lot of them positive. A few were just silly. One person wrote and said “I don’t like metal because mostly it just sounds shit. No hard feelings?” Blah blah. Well, at first I was going to just approve the comment but then it would just go against everything I just said.

I don’t put people down if they don’t like metal. Every person is different and if we can’t accept that EVER… than we are all fucked. If someone doesn’t like it, they don’t like it. My last entry was to simply present facts and opinions about metal that may have not been considered by those who do  not like the music.

You can think it sounds like shit, but that’s too easy. That’s not even trying to give it a chance – which the last entry was about. How is it possible that someone can comment on that entry about how it sounds like shit without taking into consideration anything I said in the first place?

So at the end of the day, there are no hard feelings. I just wish some people weren’t so freaking stupid.

10 Reasons Why You Don’t Like Metal – And Why You Should

// April 9th, 2008 // 21 Comments » // music

Metal music gets a lot of crap. The music and its listeners are constantly stereotyped and have to often correct a lot of misconceptions about the music (and sometimes ourselves). As a metalhead, I often find myself in a position where i have to defend what I listen to which is a shame. Of course, I never mind doing it! I feel that a lot of people who don’t like metal because of various misconceptions are truly missing out on a diverse genre of music that they could get to like.

So here I present: 10 Reasons Why You Don’t Like Metal – And Why You Should.

1. I don’t like Metal because… It is the music of the Devil.
You should like metal because… Black Sabbath were constantly greeted with Church protesters at their gigs and condemned for their “satanic” lyrics. There are some bands such as Gorgoroth and Mayhem who ARE actually Satanists, a lot of more mainstream bands such as Slayer and Black Sabbath merely use imagery to garner attention and make an impact. Just like more than half of commercial female performers sing half naked.

2. I don’t like Metal because… The lyrics are always so angry.
You should like metal because…
Often times people dismiss Metal because they believe that the lyrics are grotesque and constantly angry. Is there any other kind of music out there that conveys the feelings of the despair of soldiers, the destruction of wars, sadness of a depressed person, anger over the death of a friend in such a way that moves you? Commercial songs cover these topics, but never to such a great and detailed extent that makes you sit back and truly take it all in.

3. I don’t like Metal because… I just like music to be fun!
You should like metal because… There are some metal bands out there that you should never take seriously and just have fun with. Cannibal Corpse makes me laugh. Their lyrics are so over the top, it’s clear that they’re having fun themselves. I can’t honestly believe that people take them so seriously. Then there is the more lighthearted side like Static-X and Rob Zombie – horror/industrial metal that is more fun to dance around to and never take seriously. It’s not just the music, but the scene is fun too!

4. I don’t like Metal because… People who like Metal are serial killers/druggies/drunks/FREAKS.
You should like metal because… Once on my way to a Suffocation gig, a couple moved so far away from me on the pathway they were practically walking on the road. Just like any other niche in society, we have our dunderheads and our barbarians. But on the most part, metalheads are the friendliest bunch of people you will ever meet. There are plenty of gigs and clubs I have gone to where you are free to start talking to anyone you choose without that person giving you a look. We are like a huge family – so don’t let the excessive black fool or scare you. But we do like Jack Daniels (some of us).

5. I don’t like Metal because… The music is way too loud! There’s no rhythm.
You should like metal because… Some have argued that Metal is heavily influenced by Classical music. Solos have been likened with masterpieces in Classical history. Black Metal is highly melodic. Progressive metal has mixed rhythms – bands such as Meshuggah are known to use more than two time signatures in a song at any given time. Death Metal is a difficult genre to enjoy as it may sound unmelodious at first, but can turn out the most melodic songs in the broad genre. Metal contains one of the most broad collection of subgenres that can cater for any tastes whether it be fast/slow/loud/quiet.

6. I don’t like Metal because… It makes kids kill themselves or each other.
You should like metal because… Any decisions you make in life, are yours and yours alone to make. Someone has to be incredibly mentally unstable to have a metal song influence their behavior to act out violently against one another. Society constantly looks for a scapegoat and often times, Metal is that scapegoat. It always has been since 1969 (or.. earlier?). People kill people – not metal.

7. I don’t like Metal because… It makes people depressed.
You should like metal because… Metal music is aggressive and empowering. People do not listen to metal to feel helpless or more alone – they listen to it to feel empowered. Metal music has helped me in many times of need and I can safely say that I am not alone. It’s a short therapy session that you can’t get from listening to your favourite songs on the radio. It understands that life is not just a field of ignorant rainbows and oblivious lollipops – shit happens and metal is always there to make you feel empowered and pumped up again.

8. I don’t like Metal because… I can’t be bothered listening to it.
You should like metal because… Metal music doesn’t gloss over the pretty things in life. It’s a lot more complex and diverse than meets the eye. You can write it off, but only because it’s easier than peering inside and seeing the thousands of layers that make up metal. Just like exploitation films were labeled trash, metal music leaves a lot more to be uncovered. A rare feat of metal is that you can listen to a song a hundred times and sometimes never even scratch the surface of the structure of the lyrics and the composition.

9. I don’t like Metal because… Metal seems like a very niche genre.
You should like metal because… Metal is ONLY and ALL about the music. Unlike the indie music crowd where people look down on you for what you’re wearing or what you look like, we don’t care about those things! We don’t care if you don’t have long hair, we don’t care if you’re not wearing black. Metalheads don’t respond well to posers and much prefer for people to just be themselves. Metal is all about having fun and not being pretentious.


10. I don’t like Metal because… It just seems like really simple music.
You should like metal because… A lot of bands such as Emperor, Meshuggah, Immortal and Cannibal Corpse are a bunch of talented musicians. It takes a lot of practice to be able to sing and play their instruments like they do. Musicians like these are always overlooked by record companies and the public in general which is sad. If you ever come to a time where you listen to one of these bands, you will soon understand that metal music is not just a simple type of music at all.

Check out this link for more info.