my current issues
// October 22nd, 2008 // Comments Off // opinion
i’m no stranger to issues. always been emotional, vulnerable… but tried not to be. i can’t seem to help it a lot of the time. i think i have it under control but then i do something so irrational that i probably look like a princess. my issue is this: i’m not a princess. things have happened to me where i thought i wouldn’t pull through. perhaps that has some sort of after affect on someone? maybe. i don’t exactly make it an excuse to say “this is the way i am”, but i can say that it’s shaped me.
i cry. i get angry easily. i get hurt easily. maybe everyone else does but they hide it incredibly well, i’m not sure. me? if i can’t get it under control in a second, i’ll make you wish i never had a mouth. or even a brain.
i don’t really know what i’m getting at here, i suppose it’s been a rough week. nothing seems to be stopping and standing still for even a second. not even in my sleep. i feel mentally exhausted and everything i say and everything i do feels fake – like i’m putting on a mask so no one will pay too much attention to me. normal, yes. i’ve had those days. but not for a long time. it’s almost like i forgot how to handle being in the gutter.
maybe i’ll wake up tomorrow and things will be some form of “normal”.
and maybe my legs will stop swelling.
