ZoeZombie

"I was talking to someone about Disposable Teens today and he said, ‘In Disposable Teens,..."

Sat, 18 Feb 2012 13:55:52 +0800

“I was talking to someone about Disposable Teens today and he said, ‘In Disposable Teens, “You say you want a revolution and I say you’re full of shit”. Are you saying that the people who listened to The White Album and wanted a revolution, have raised this whole generation of kids, and now they can’t understand them and are turning their views to something they would have never subscribed to?’
I said, ‘You finally fucking got that song.’”

- MM

jessicatron: My favourite album.

Sat, 18 Feb 2012 12:54:21 +0800

jessicatron:

My favourite album.

Photo

Sat, 18 Feb 2012 08:13:30 +0800

Photo

Sat, 18 Feb 2012 08:11:17 +0800

Photo

Fri, 17 Feb 2012 08:10:57 +0800

anti-cecilia: Artist: Marilyn MansonSong: Valentine’s DayAlbum:...

Tue, 14 Feb 2012 15:09:04 +0800

anti-cecilia:

Artist: Marilyn Manson
Song: Valentine’s Day
Album: Holy Wood (In The Shadow Of The Valley Of Death)

She was the color of TV
her mouth curled under like a metal snake
although Holy Wood was sad
they’d remember this as Valentine’s day

flies are waiting

In the Shadow of the Valley of Death
In the Shadow of the Valley of Death

slit our wrists and send us to heaven
the first flower after the flood

I saw that pregnant girl today
she didn’t know that it was dead inside
even though it was alive
some of us are really born to die

flies are waiting

In the Shadow of the Valley of Death
In the Shadow of the Valley of Death

slit our wrists and send us to heaven
the first flower after the flood

In the Shadow of the Valley of Death

In the Shadow of the Valley of Death

From one of my favourite albums.

CLASSIC!

Tue, 14 Feb 2012 12:24:17 +0800

CLASSIC!

autumndewilde: PARIS WITH RODARTE

Mon, 13 Feb 2012 19:48:21 +0800

autumndewilde:

PARIS WITH RODARTE

jonguppie: just g0nna leave this here

Mon, 13 Feb 2012 19:46:53 +0800

jonguppie:

just g0nna leave this here

"This is the thing: When you hit 28 or 30, everything begins to divide. You can see very clearly two..."

Mon, 13 Feb 2012 19:43:27 +0800

“

This is the thing: When you hit 28 or 30, everything begins to divide. You can see very clearly two kinds of people. On one side, people who have used their 20s to learn and grow, to find … themselves and their dreams, people who know what works and what doesn’t, who have pushed through to become real live adults. Then there’s the other kind, who are hanging onto college, or high school even, with all their might. They’ve stayed in jobs they hate, because they’re too scared to get another one. They’ve stayed with men or women who are good but not great, because they don’t want to be lonely. … they mean to develop intimate friendships, they mean to stop drinking like life is one big frat party. But they don’t do those things, so they live in an extended adolescence, no closer to adulthood than when they graduated.

Don’t be like that. Don’t get stuck. Move, travel, take a class, take a risk. There is a season for wildness and a season for settledness, and this is neither. This season is about becoming. Don’t lose yourself at happy hour, but don’t lose yourself on the corporate ladder either. Stop every once in a while and go out to coffee or climb in bed with your journal.

Ask yourself some good questions like: “Am I proud of the life I’m living? What have I tried this month? … Do the people I’m spending time with give me life, or make me feel small? Is there any brokenness in my life that’s keeping me from moving forward?”

Now is your time. Walk closely with people you love, and with people who believe … life is a grand adventure. Don’t get stuck in the past, and don’t try to fast-forward yourself into a future you haven’t yet earned. Give today all the love and intensity and courage you can, and keep traveling honestly along life’s path.

”

- Relevant magazine (via charliebravo)

beautyandterrordance: Tales From The Tomb, July 1974

Wed, 11 Jan 2012 09:04:54 +0800

beautyandterrordance:

Tales From The Tomb, July 1974

80 minutes in and another 10 to go.. and there has been no gore....

Sun, 08 Jan 2012 10:48:01 +0800

80 minutes in and another 10 to go.. and there has been no gore. Yet. And I like it. I’ve already made up my mind about this movie.

Carrying a movie with little dialogue, facial expressions and playing on our most primal fears makes for an effectively scary film. And one of the most effective strategies is the fact that we really don’t know what is going on until about the 50 minute mark when things start to get a little Wolf Creek. It’s up to us to let our minds wander to the worst-case-scenario; one of the most effective techniques in fear.

Since horror films really hit their peak in the 70s and 80s, it’s interesting to see that this film was shot with 16mm - popular in the 80s. The colours, fashion, style and 80s references are absolutely awesome. Ti West, the filmmaker has completely committed to making a retro-style movie. I absolutely loathe the films that have a retro look and feel, only for postmodernism purposes and nothing more.

Creep out accomplished.

For as long as I can remember, I’ve always had problems with people. Conflicts, bullying....

Sat, 08 Oct 2011 10:39:43 +0800

For as long as I can remember, I’ve always had problems with people. Conflicts, bullying. Maybe it’s the same story everyone else will tell you – at the end of the day, we all have to live on the same planet together and we can’t always have things go our way.

A while ago, I had gone to my husband with an issue I was having with a coworker. I suppose at the time it was a big deal. Now that I look back on it, it wasn’t really. I didn’t really care about that person, nor were they my friend. They were just a co-worker to me. But still, my husband said to me “you always have problems with people. Maybe it’s not them, and it’s you.”. I was kind of caught off guard by that remark. But then I thought, maybe it IS me. I do have a tendency to open my mouth when I shouldn’t. And I say things that I think are acceptable but don’t realise that they might make people uncomfortable or hurt people.

I’m not a malicious person and I never set out on the intent to upset people – ever. But there is no such thing as “grey” for me. It’s either black or white. There is no middle ground. You’re my friend or you’re not. You’re an asshole or your the best person I’ve ever met. And so on. Some people find this strange, even brutal. But here’s what I think: I have no time for grey. The inevitable thing is – I’m going to die one day. I don’t know when. And I don’t know how. But I do not want to come to the end and realise that I’ve wasted my entire life living in the middle and accepting bs when I didn’t have to. I don’t have time for idiots and I don’t have time for bullshit arguments. I cut my losses and I move on from it or that person.

Death is always in the back of my mind. Perhaps that sounds negative or maybe it’s positive. Maybe it’s not either. But every day I wake up, I know that I’m going to die one day. I live for today, every day. After spending so many years wishing that I were dead and feeling like I was trapped in a prison that wouldn’t let me have my wish – I finally woke up one day and realised that I wanted to live more than anything in the world – and that my wishing for death scared me. And so my mortality is always in my mind.

I accept the fact that not everyone is like this and not everyone can handle my brutal honesty. Even when I’m trying not to be brutally honest, I seem to still come across brutal and crass without me ever knowing it. I guess it’s because I also don’t know any other way to be.

This is who I am. I will never change. I will never apologize for saying something that I know in my heart of hearts is right. But I will apologise to those I love whom I have hurt with my words because I am truly sorry I have hurt them. I am open for opinions and I will listen – I always listen to opinions, because they are important in my growth as a person. But I don’t listen to personal attacks on me for no warranted reason. THAT is grey. And I have no time for that, or for you. So, goodbye.

my confidence quickly faded when i realised i was in a room that was larger than life. but was...

Tue, 02 Aug 2011 15:22:00 +0800

my confidence quickly faded when i realised i was in a room that was larger than life. but was colourless. white and black. there was a suit of armor standing tall in the corner of the room. i sat in a chair in front of him. i’ve always wanted to own a suit of armor. i thought they were the epitome of a haunted house. the absolute element that a haunted house required for it to be … a haunted house. as if you would somehow expect the suit to come alive at night and it would walk up and down the halls as you huddled under the covers willing it to stop. thinking you were just dreaming. thinking that if you could just make it through the night to see the light of day, everything would be all right again.

and then of course, there was the moose head looking down at me from the wall. i suppose another element of a haunted house. but there was no fireplace. i’d always think that a haunted house should have a fireplace. probably because they had them in the movies. an empty hole in the wall that would eventually be covered with a piece of garish furniture. because having that empty hole looking at you at night in the darkness begins to creep you out.

and that clock. the white, lifeless cuckoo clock. it was cold. nothing like what you’d see in say, a munich pub where the beer is flowing. You can’t be sure if you’re hot because you’re drunk or because everyone in munich is crowded into this tiny space. it made sounds - it sounded like a tiny wooden bird was struggling to get out and it never did.

it was rainy, cold, windy and wet outside. and somehow, i would have preferred if i were out there. than in that room.

Suicide attempts.

Tue, 26 Jul 2011 13:20:01 +0800

weezyfbaby11:

750000 suicide attepts a year, 62500 a month, 2064 a day, 85 per hour, 50 per minute and 0.8 per second. Be thankful for your life <3

I have been betrayed. I have been taken advantage of. This feeling I have is almost nauseating. A...

Mon, 25 Jul 2011 14:26:26 +0800

I have been betrayed. I have been taken advantage of. This feeling I have is almost nauseating. A grave injustice has been done by me, and taking the high road is stifiling. I want to take the low road. But I won’t.

Sometimes taking the high road is the most difficult thing one could ever do.

Shortly after my grandmother passed away, we gathered at my mum’s house. It wasn’t...

Sun, 24 Jul 2011 18:05:27 +0800

Shortly after my grandmother passed away, we gathered at my mum’s house. It wasn’t because we were really doing anything - just sitting around watching television, eating what would have been christmas lunch and trying to support my grandfather. The usually large house felt small - crammed with people I never really saw. Visitors coming in and out, paying their respects. At times, it often became too much to deal with the crying, and endless questions. “Why?” was the most popular. And no one had an answer.

It was one of these busy days where I decided that I had to get away from the crying and the zombie-like state. I went to go into the living room to watch TV but I found my Mum, Dad, brothers and my grandad sitting around talking in a hushed manner. They stopped when I walked in. I sat down with them and asked what was going on.

It turned out that my grandmother in fact had committed suicide, and she had left a note that my grandfather had found. It was written in Greek and he wasn’t strong enough to attempt to read it. Mum, on the other hand, was going to keep it from me. She didn’t want me to know. My grandfather said he didn’t want me to know because my grandmother had always felt protective over me and hated to see me upset -more than anyone else.

I suddenly flew into a rage and insisted that I leave immediately. I felt somehow betrayed. I was angry at my Mum for trying to make me think it wasn’t a suicide. I was angry that she was going to keep it from me even though I believed it was a suicide the moment mum called me that day. I was angry that this was even happening. I was angry that I had known it was a suicide and everyone told me it wasn’t - then were going to keep the secret that it was.

I couldn’t hide my anger and mum attempted to calm me down but I was inconsolable at that point. Why was this even happening? Why were we all sitting in the living room trying to pretend our hearts weren’t ripped out instead of ripping wrapping paper off presents that we didn’t need? And why were people lying to me when I was the only one who really understood what was going on?

Eventually, I calmed down. And my grandfather was upset because he believed he made me upset. He felt more upset that he believed he had done something that upset his now deceased wife. Obviously, it was an incredibly upsetting situation for all. But eventually, he read the note. And it was hard to listen to, but I needed to hear it. And it became all too much to understand and process.

Months have gone by and I feel mostly healed. Except for any given moment of peace is interrupted by my mind replaying the sound of my grandfather wailing in the background when my mum had called me to tell me the news. And I loathe the phone. Every time it rings, my heart sinks to my stomach.

But since this time, I’ve had a pretty bad run with luck. I’m expecting some kind of major Karma payback at least some time soon. But the months have been difficult and hard to live through at times. And sometimes when I’m by myself, I might cry. Or I’m so silent that I can hear my cats breathing.

In those moments, something happens that I can’t really explain. My grandmother. But I’m not thinking of her or how much I miss her. It’s like I can feel her presence. It’s an imposing feeling. Not like when you suddenly remember something. It’s like she is there, saying hello and I am to say hello back. It’s the most odd feeling I’ve ever encountered and have not experienced it before. It has happened a few times in the past few weeks - and I’m a bit too far away from the initial grieving stage to think I’m just suffering from it.

Yesterday morning, I made my way to a very unpleasant and stressful meeting. I parked my car,...

Fri, 22 Jul 2011 21:15:16 +0800

Yesterday morning, I made my way to a very unpleasant and stressful meeting. I parked my car, shoved some coins into the meter and purchased enough time to take me through to 9:58am.

After the meeting was over, I walked back to my car and saw a meter maid. I thought nothing of it. I got into my car and sat there, crying with my sunglasses on. Trying to look as though I was not crying. I looked at the time. It was 10:26am.

I didn’t even think about it at the time, but I did not buy enough time for my ticket and I could have easily received a parking fine. But I didn’t, even with a roving meter maid. And I’m grateful that the universe let me off this time. Thank you for doing me a solid, universe.

A woman with no country.

Thu, 21 Jul 2011 13:57:34 +0800

Long story short, I’ve come to a crossroads in my professional life. Maybe I was never meant to be a web designer - even though my psychic friend told me so. Maybe I’m not actually good at it. Maybe I’m just a nice enough person that people deal with me. Maybe I don’t have anything to offer.

Or maybe everything that has happened to lead up to this point is just a test. The universe wants to see if I can hack it. If that is the case, I’m probably going to fail something for the first time in my life. Because I want it to. I am done. This used to be my passion, my art. It’s no longer the case.

"Mama’s gonna make all of your nightmares come true Mama’s gonna put all of her fears..."

Fri, 08 Jul 2011 15:30:51 +0800

“Mama’s gonna make all of your nightmares come true
Mama’s gonna put all of her fears into you
Mama’s gonna keep you right here under her wing
She won’t let you fly but she might let you sing
Mama’s gonna keep baby cozy and warm
Of course mama’s gonna help build the wall”

- Mother

Pink Floyd