Bob Dylan. What can I say? The experience was like you would expect - only less shit. Sure, Vanessa and I almost fell asleep half way into his set. Sure, some idiot behind us yelled out “Maggie’s Farm” as a request even though everyone should know you don’t tell Bob Dylan what to play. Sure, our seats were almost touching the heavens. Sure, Mr Dylan sounded like he had swallowed a lit packet of cigarettes and his gruffy voice made it hard to decipher lyrics but man, we just saw Bob Dylan.

Before the show, vanessa and I had decided to get a drink because you really need to be drinking at a Bob Dylan gig. Only the thing is, when you go to the Burswood Dome for a gig you should know that it is impossible to get drunk there. It is because you are waiting for so long to get a drink and by the time you get to the front of the line, they don’t have what you want and it’s usually warm. So when we got some red wine, we had no idea that it was going to taste like absolute ass. I would say that I was disappointed, because  you always think that you have it safe when you are just going be choosing the standard drink of red wine. I am not an expert, but I assume that all red wine tastes pretty much the same. And not like ass. What a shame that was.

Some dude started talking to us and asked us why we were at Bob Dylan, just the two of us. I guess it would come as a shock that yeah - vanessa and i are god damn hippies. only we are from THE NOW. I was also a bit shocked to see some dude eating a fucking ice cream but i guess you can buy anything when you go to a concert at the burswood dome.

So Bob Dylan, what can i say? It was not the top 10 gigs I have ever been to. I would be lieing if i said it was. but being that i had seen bob dylan made the whole night very special. even if the songs were unrecognisable because they had been reworked. i guess that is what you do when you have been singing the same song for almost 40 years or more. It would get old. Someone said to me the other day “man, the Chili Peppers must get so sick of playing ‘give it away’ since it’s from 1991?. I think, Bob Dylan and The Rolling Stones must be pretty fucking bored of their songs by now!

After the gig, Vanessa and I had a mini freak out which included saying “man” and “dude” about a thousand times. On walking back to the train, some dude came up to me and asked if bob  dylan was still playing. I looked at him, i knew he was trying to be funny but he tried too hard and became a fucking idiot. So I said “um, guess” and walked away. People are fucking pathetic like that.

Before I start ranting how awesome Lamb of God were, I’m just going to say that the gig was way better than the Slayer gig - hands down. I don’t care whether you think I’m right or wrong. Chances are I probably just had a way better time than you.

Lamb of God was a gig that I had been waiting for since they had announced they were coming to Perth. I love Lamb Of God. They’re in my top 5 bands and I love the fact that they’re just fucking METAL. So I was fucking excited to see them.

One of the problems I have been facing lately is having to go with my boyfriend to metal gigs lately. I don’t know if that’s really a problem.. it helps that we both love metal. Even my Mum made a comment about how awesome it was that we both liked metal, when about 6 months ago she was freaking out because I was obsessed with it. Now she was basically encouraging me.

So before every metal gig must come a metal piss up. I went with Roger to a friends house where I got loaded. It was the good old trick: you don’t know how pissed you are until you stand up, so I kept on drinking thinking I wasn’t getting drunk at all. I stood up and then BAM! I realised I ate too much food before hand. Too much food + too much booze = vom vom. Yuck. But you must remember to top up the alcohol once this happens. It’s metal rule #3.. or something like that.

The taxi driver we got this time was super awesome as compared to the last dude we got on Saturday night who didn’t say a word to us even though we weren’t being tools. Then he forced us to give him an extra two bucks for some reason that I can’t remember. Why the fuck is it me that always has to pay for fucking taxi’s? Damnit! Anyway, yeah, driver was awesome. He’s from Lebanon and called me an angel. He also said that Roger should spoil me and marry me after he comes back from his Europe trip. I was too drunk to fully register what he was saying, but I’m sure if I was sober I would have been really embarrassed and laughed my ass off at the same time. This dude asked for two dollars extra as well, but I gave him a 10 buck tip for being totally awesome and reminding me of my grandparents.

That is always extra points in my book.

Lamb of God were just fucking awesome. The sound was great compared to the sound at the Fear Factory show and they put on a fucking awesome show. There’s nothing much to say other than it kicked major ass. I went down near the pit for most of the night, but to go any closer than I did would have probably meant a kick in the face.

I’ve been pushed over at gigs, I’ve been kicked in the back, had beer spilled on my head, my ass slapped, my boob grabbed, being hit on the head.. the whole shebang. But I have never been grabbed by the throat to be moved out of the way. And that is exactly what happened to me when I was down near the pit.

It goes like this: I was on the left side near the pit and obviously in the way of an extremely obese blonde girl who wore clothes that showed off her tits as this would be the only reason why anyone would want to look at her in the first place. She might have had a pretty face, but it was obvious to me that her personality was that of a fucking pig and therefore she looked like one to me. I was obviously in her way, so instead of trying to move past me (I don’t think she could and this may have been her problem), brush past me, or even bash me over to get through, she grabbed me by my fucking throat and shoved me aside.

Now I’m not really a violent person and I don’t get violent when I’m angry. I’m not even one of those girls who threaten to bash the shit out of people. But something snapped in me when she did that and I got so fucking mad that I really did feel like turning around, grabbing her by her hair and punching her in the face. I don’t think I even have the strength to do that and she could have easily killed me but I got so angry that the only thing I really could do was walk past her and bash into her so much so that she lost her balance. I haven’t done anything like that since I was 18 and shoving people was the only way to let them know not to shove you over.

There’s something different between shoving people over and grabbing them by the throat to shove them aside. It’s even more different between someone grabbing you by the boob and shoving you over or something like that. The throat is a bit more serious - it’s almost threatening. I think that’s why I got so mad and felt like bashing her for about 30 seconds. Maybe more.

Either way, I didn’t let it get in the way of ruining my night. I had fun going nuts with everyone, being with mates and just having a great time. And FUCKING LAMB OF GOD!

After so much shit to get a ticket, then losing it and never finding it, then having my Mum feel so bad for me for losing the original ticket that she bought me another one I did it: I fucking saw Slayer. I SAW SLAYER. One of the first metal bands that I ever listened to when I was a wee little girl which spawned my love for metal to this very day. I honestly couldn’t believe that I was even going to see them and I was so excited that I was rendered emotionless. While everyone around me was screaming out “Slayer!” and pumping their fists in the air during pre-drinks, I felt a bit disconnected from the situation.I knew that the original gig sold out in about 30 hours, but now at a bigger venue to accommodate for the people who missed out - I noticed there were a FUCK LOAD of people. It got me thinking - where the fuck at these people at all the other awesome metal gigs? There are so many great metal bands coming to Perth that sometimes it’s embarrassing to see a venue a bit empty. Other these people were huge Slayer fans and just didn’t give a fuck about any other band or that every other metal gig I have gone to has always been 18+ and therefore the crowd is reduced. I don’t really know what I prefer - a bigger crowd with everyone and stupid little kids (a majority of them anyway) or an 18+ crowd who act like stupid little kids. I understand it’s metal, but there should be a barrier between metalhead and barbarian.

For example, there were people who somehow thought that they were apes and started climbing the rafters and swinging from rafter to rafter in order to get a good spot to see Slayer. I kept thinking of cops rolling up and taking someone away in a body bag. That was definitely in my thoughts. I always thought people who did stupid shit like that and then drop down into the crowd were fucking asking for a pelting as someone else could get seriously hurt when all they wanted to do was go to a gig and enjoy it instead of being taken away in an ambulance with a broken something or other or being held up by their friends all night. If it weren’t for the watchful eyes of my boyfriend, I probably could have been one of those people. One of the assholes that climbed up on the rafter decided to slide down on a pole and could have landed on my fucking head had Roger not grabbed me out of the way. I can assure you that if I got hurt by that asshole, even if I had my neck broken, I would have probably tried to kick him in the nuts.

I just love the security at metal gigs, especially when the gigs are HUGE. Security think because their fat and big that somehow we will find them intimidating. It’s just funny to watch them pretend no one is doing anything wrong because all of a sudden they get scared when they see a sea of long hair and black EVERYTHING. It’s obvious that metalheads are on top of the food chain in regards to these kinds of things. We’re honestly not that scary. A lot of us are just hippies.. maybe.

Mastodon (pictured) are a band that went straight over my head. I have a couple of their albums, but decided after some time that we had to go our separate ways. It just wasn’t happening. They’re not my bag. And they weren’t that great on stage. It seemed as though they just went on stage to get paid or something. They didn’t even acknowledge the crowd until the end of their set which really sucks. HEY MAN, some of those kids were there to see YOU. And you acted like they didn’t even exist. That’s a HUGE No-no in my list of things bands should not do at gigs. They may have been a tight band, and the sound was decent, but they weren’t even worthy of being there. Mastodon’s lack of regard for their audience was greatly contrasted when Slayer got on stage. Tom Araya’s intro to every couple of song’s was just classic. Like when Corpsegrinder said to us “if you don’t go nuts to this song, I’ll kill you”.

I almost died when Slayer got on stage - not because it was finally happening, but because I couldn’t see SHIT thanks to the stupid smoke machine. People standing in front of me is fine - I can move. But the smoke machine? I was blinded for about 15 minutes.

I went nuts, like I usually do but I didn’t even attempt to sing any of the words because I really like hearing Tom sing, rather than myself. I took a whole bunch of photo’s but none of them turned out that great. Either way, I’ll put them up on my flickr sometime soon.. just so I have memories.

I don’t really know what to say other than i saw SLAYER last night and they fucking ruled! Sure, there were misgivings about almost being landed on, people standing in front of me, being blinded by the smoke, the sound being a bit so-so.. but it was still fucking awesome. Slayer came to Perth, and they fucking owned.

I love you Slayer. More than Coca Cola.