I’ve been using the internet for a very long time now. Since I was 11. Do you know what the fuck that can do to a person who is now 22? Do you have any idea how long I have spent on the internet since I knew it existed? I don’t either. Ball in the park guess would be about 2 years out of the past 11. And let me tell you something, the wonders of the Internet have worn off. Until today. Because until today, I had forgotten how awesomely fun the internet can also be, instead of just using it to make fucking websites.

There are gems out there, people. Gems and gold and diamonds. And I’ve spent hours and hours searching for some awesome ones to share with you, my beloved children. You may also be bored with the shit that is the Internet. Or many you need to find a cool site that will make your life a little easier? I got a few of those too. It’s time for a good old fashioned can’t-think-of-anything-else-to-write-so-i’m-making-a-hyperlinks-post. And the awesome thing is that all these links open in a new window.

Parody Motivator Generator: You know those really gay posters that you see in hospital or the nurse’s office about how life is really great with some stupid black and white photo of a family? Or those posters about how great kids are? They’re stupid, pointless and yet they’re everywhere. Well, you can make your own, like the one seen above. Grab your photo, type in your headline and then the motivational text and voila! Gay Motivational Poster!

For those who take life too seriously: I’m one of these people… sometimes. Sometimes I just have a shitty day and get down too easily. So when you need a laugh, go to this site: 54 humorous points of life. Remember rule 21: Borrow money from a pessimist - they don’t expect it back.

Script Frenzy!: Have you ever wanted to write a screenplay or a stageplay but can never find the time? Or maybe you’ve always wanted to do something cool like this but didn’t know where to start? And do you think you could do it all in a month? Well that’s what Script Frenzy is all about. It’s like Nanowrimo, only it’s a script in a month. Participate this year and write a script between the 1- 30 June.  20,000 words. One month. Lots of coca cola.

Meebo: I have no idea what the fuck is up with awesome sites having stupid names.. but anyway. Pretend you’re at work, at uni, at a friends’ place.. they don’t have AIM, Yahoo Messenger or MSN and you don’t want to or can’t install it. Well here you can log into your IM account from anywhere in the world.

BibMe: Another awesome site, another stupid name. If I was at uni still, this site would have saved me time and gained me some sleep. The worst part of any assignment was the bibliography. Remembering where the fuck you put all those god damn references.. even just typing up the damn thing and cross referencing with how you’re supposed to set it out so you don’t lose marks wasn’t exactly my idea of fun at 3am. Type in what you need to reference and it does the rest for you.

The Definitive Guide to Blogging: Are you one of those people who want to start a blog but don’t know where to start? Or you’re using myspace’s shitty excuse for a “blog”? Then look no further than here. There’s lists of blogging platforms to use, plugins, how to add your blog into a search engine and stacks more.

Old Time Horror and Sci-Fi Radio: Back in the day, when radio was immensly popular and a form of entertainment before it was killed by the corporate machine, horror and sci-fi stories were told online in creepy voices and scary sound effects. Download 100 of these old time horror and sci-fi radio segments and listen to them online.

Scary Mary: You could make any film a horror film if you cut out certain parts of it and made it into your own trailer with music and all. This is Mary Poppins re-cut into a horror film.

Listen to a movie: It sounds strange.. why the hell would you listen to a movie? Well maybe you work in a shitty cubicle and can’t really watch movies. Maybe you’re supposed to be doing work but wouldn’t mind watching a movie at the same time. Instead of that, you can listen to a movie. Find the one you want, press play and BAM! You’re listening to a movie. Understand the concept!

Comeeko: Here you can create a comic strip from your own photo’s. Upload your photo’s and then add speech, think bubbles and dialogue to your photo’s to create your comic.

Someecards: “Sorry, I was fantasizing about your death.”, “Let’s pretend to get together soon”, “I would have paid for the abortion”. Thinking of sending someone an ecard with one of those taglines? Here’s the place to do it.

To find more awesome websites that maybe you wouldn’t have found otherwise, head to del.icio.us (a social bookmarking website - get your bookmarks from anywhere in the world) and have a browse. To see what I’m bookmarking lately, check out my del.icio.us account here or in the sidebar.

I just got back from seeing 28 Weeks Later. I must admit that I was a bit reluctant to see this film after it got a bit of a negative write up in STM… but then, who the hell really reads STM? And I usually don’t really listen to reviews anyway, unless I’m hearing a whole bunch of reports that pretty much say the same old negative thing.

Here’s my two cents: if you liked 28 Days Later, you like other “Zombie” films, you’ll like this one. Go see it.

As I was watching the film, there were a few things which popped into my head. As we all know, I can’t really watch a movie without coming away with something. The first thing that popped into my mind was how much it was like Resident Evil: Apocalypse. The second thing was that there was probably a reason for the fact that it was so similar…

Of course, one of the things that have always been consistent with Zombie films of recent times (1960’s onwards) is that the creatures in the films are never actually referred to as Zombies. The Living Dead, The Infected, The Undead, Walkers… whatever.. but NEVER Zombies. I think it’s because the actual word of “Zombie” doesn’t exactly strike fear in the hearts of people like say, Dracula, Werewolf or George Bush. The word Zombie seems almost like a mystical creature, although so is Dracula, Werewolves and George Bush, they don’t seem to have the same comical effect as “Zombie” does… though “George Bush” might.

I admit, it was a cheap and easy shot at G.B. A little too easy…

Continuing on… then it would seem silly to have a serious film about the post-apocalyptic state of the U.K if you’re calling these things “Zombies”. It’s enough to scoff at. The word “Zombie” brings to mind sluggish, slow, bumbling, clumsy and stupid creatures that anyone could outrun. They remind you of the kid who was always 30 minutes late to class either because they slept in or were getting stoned. Sluggish. Slow. Bumbling. Clumsy. Stupid creatures. Easy to outrun (because they could never be bothered to run). They were always good value.

Back in the day (30s - late 80s), the word “Zombie” was not really used in Zombie films much and as time went on, the word wasn’t used at all. But in post-production, directors like George A. Romero and Lucio Fulci referred to the creatures as Zombies. As time went on (Late 80s - present) it almost seems taboo to call these Living Dead.. Zombies. With the exception of Resident Evil.

Not only is the very word “Zombie” being completely removed from any part of the production process (except maybe in scripts were it instructs actors to “walk like a Zombie”), but these new Living Dead are not the Romero Zombies. They’re fast, ferocious and pretty much what you’d expect of yourself if you went mental for the rest of your life: spewing blood, biting people, gouging eyes out.

Is this kind of new breed of “Zombie” scarier than the sluggish creatures of yesteryear?

Yes. They are too much like our very selves. They are fast, they’re smart and they run. They still have instincts we have. They still have feelings. They’re probably more hungry than Oprah is all. To know that these new Zombies are so close to ourselves, it’s almost as though humans walking around and killing each other in cold blood for no reason.

AND

No. The slower creatures were also scary. Simply because while it looked as though there was one slow fucker you could outrun, you’d turn back and see 4. Then 16. Then 25. Then 43. Then you’re fucked. With their slowness comes a eeriness that cannot be replaced or matched by these new “breed” of the Living Dead (LD … I’m getting lazy).

In saying that, why are people suddenly so engrossed in these films once more? Night of the Living Dead showed a world on the brink of the beginning of chaos. Dawn of the Dead showed the gradual decline of the human race: an apocalypse. Day of the Dead showed the immediate aftermath of the apocalypse. Land of the Dead showed the post-apocalyptic world. The latter two films are probably most related to our world now. While it’s easy to say that, there is an important factor some forget. I am only able to sit here and type this now because my world has not ended. There are many people all over the world who have lost their homes, lost their loved ones. It may be to illness or it may be because of the “War on Terror”, the most paradoxical phrase in the current media. It’s easy to take example from the latter occurrence because it’s all we hear about on the news. But for us lucky people who are actually able to go and see these films in a free country, our world has not ended. For the others who are less fortunate than us, they’re living what we fear. These films show the “future”, but are happening right now. Just because it is not at our doorstep now, who is to say that it won’t ever come? Who is to say that our world hasn’t already ended and we have already been subdued to a fight for survival?

Maybe there is a fear in people that one day our whole world will fall apart and we will lose everything that we know and hold dear, enough fear to become so interested in films that depict these very events. And as I said earlier, these more recent films are so similar to one another because the current behaviour of governments and the people seems to lead down a path of destruction. These films show similar downfalls due to selfishness, greed, lust, weakness (and of course, a nasty virus). They show similar reactions before the government steps in. The government shows similar reactions. It’s a vicious circle. Is the world really that grim that there can be no other path? Do I have to sit through another post-apocalyptic “Zombie” film to know what the human behavioural cycle is like? Destructive, hateful and cruel to each other? Are we all just disposable numbers and statistics?

Before I start ranting how awesome Lamb of God were, I’m just going to say that the gig was way better than the Slayer gig - hands down. I don’t care whether you think I’m right or wrong. Chances are I probably just had a way better time than you.

Lamb of God was a gig that I had been waiting for since they had announced they were coming to Perth. I love Lamb Of God. They’re in my top 5 bands and I love the fact that they’re just fucking METAL. So I was fucking excited to see them.

One of the problems I have been facing lately is having to go with my boyfriend to metal gigs lately. I don’t know if that’s really a problem.. it helps that we both love metal. Even my Mum made a comment about how awesome it was that we both liked metal, when about 6 months ago she was freaking out because I was obsessed with it. Now she was basically encouraging me.

So before every metal gig must come a metal piss up. I went with Roger to a friends house where I got loaded. It was the good old trick: you don’t know how pissed you are until you stand up, so I kept on drinking thinking I wasn’t getting drunk at all. I stood up and then BAM! I realised I ate too much food before hand. Too much food + too much booze = vom vom. Yuck. But you must remember to top up the alcohol once this happens. It’s metal rule #3.. or something like that.

The taxi driver we got this time was super awesome as compared to the last dude we got on Saturday night who didn’t say a word to us even though we weren’t being tools. Then he forced us to give him an extra two bucks for some reason that I can’t remember. Why the fuck is it me that always has to pay for fucking taxi’s? Damnit! Anyway, yeah, driver was awesome. He’s from Lebanon and called me an angel. He also said that Roger should spoil me and marry me after he comes back from his Europe trip. I was too drunk to fully register what he was saying, but I’m sure if I was sober I would have been really embarrassed and laughed my ass off at the same time. This dude asked for two dollars extra as well, but I gave him a 10 buck tip for being totally awesome and reminding me of my grandparents.

That is always extra points in my book.

Lamb of God were just fucking awesome. The sound was great compared to the sound at the Fear Factory show and they put on a fucking awesome show. There’s nothing much to say other than it kicked major ass. I went down near the pit for most of the night, but to go any closer than I did would have probably meant a kick in the face.

I’ve been pushed over at gigs, I’ve been kicked in the back, had beer spilled on my head, my ass slapped, my boob grabbed, being hit on the head.. the whole shebang. But I have never been grabbed by the throat to be moved out of the way. And that is exactly what happened to me when I was down near the pit.

It goes like this: I was on the left side near the pit and obviously in the way of an extremely obese blonde girl who wore clothes that showed off her tits as this would be the only reason why anyone would want to look at her in the first place. She might have had a pretty face, but it was obvious to me that her personality was that of a fucking pig and therefore she looked like one to me. I was obviously in her way, so instead of trying to move past me (I don’t think she could and this may have been her problem), brush past me, or even bash me over to get through, she grabbed me by my fucking throat and shoved me aside.

Now I’m not really a violent person and I don’t get violent when I’m angry. I’m not even one of those girls who threaten to bash the shit out of people. But something snapped in me when she did that and I got so fucking mad that I really did feel like turning around, grabbing her by her hair and punching her in the face. I don’t think I even have the strength to do that and she could have easily killed me but I got so angry that the only thing I really could do was walk past her and bash into her so much so that she lost her balance. I haven’t done anything like that since I was 18 and shoving people was the only way to let them know not to shove you over.

There’s something different between shoving people over and grabbing them by the throat to shove them aside. It’s even more different between someone grabbing you by the boob and shoving you over or something like that. The throat is a bit more serious - it’s almost threatening. I think that’s why I got so mad and felt like bashing her for about 30 seconds. Maybe more.

Either way, I didn’t let it get in the way of ruining my night. I had fun going nuts with everyone, being with mates and just having a great time. And FUCKING LAMB OF GOD!